i don't want you to think of me as your TA
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
