don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
