the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
