It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Alive.
So much puke
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
