Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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