They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
