i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
