Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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