he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
