East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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