Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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