It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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