mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
