Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
