At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
