trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize