Me too!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
