Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
