i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
