tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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