Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
