Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
