ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
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