Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
