I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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