I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
