don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
PANTIES FOUND
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