Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
