girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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