is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
