Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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