are you so shy because you have an std?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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