why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
