i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
