you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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