yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
