next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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