Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
