I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
