can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
