Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
