Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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