im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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