I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
