ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
