That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
