:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
