I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
