She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize