Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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