Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I am naked and annoyed.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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