i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
