did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Success! We fucked roommates!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
