Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
