Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
