my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize