just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
