I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
