Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage

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(973): View more from New Jersey

only you would photoshop your dick

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country

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(765): View more from Indiana

He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...

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(303): View more from Colorado

Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"

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(810): View more from Michigan

if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.

(616): View more from Michigan

is that what this stuff is?

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(516): View more from New York

Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend

(631): View more from New York

Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better

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