I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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