We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
