His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
All I want is dick and wine.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
