this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
