Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if you like me you must not know who I am
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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