there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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