He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize