I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
