I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
